Because I said so…..

“Because I said so” words that I heard as a child. My mother would use these words when she didn’t want to explain further. If I asked “why” after 2 answers usually I would hear those words – Because I said So. I knew that meant I was pushing my luck. I hated those words. I didn’t get it “Because I said So” didn’t answer my question causing frustration. I promised myself that I when I was grown, I would never say those words. Why would I push that on any child knowing how much I hated it.

When Kayla was born, I remember looking down at her in the hospital and told her all the great things she had to look forward to. I told her I wouldn’t tell her “Because I said so”. I would be the mother who answers all her questions no matter what. I would love her inquisitiveness. Curiosity is so important, especially as a child. I never wanted to stifle it. I didn’t realize what was in store.

Here come the terrible twos and the horrible threes. These are the 2 years that most parents would like to forget. Kayla like most children would have tantrums and be defiant. It is the time that language start but isn’t complete. Kayla would become frustrated resulting in stomping, meltdowns and lots of crying. Should want juice but couldn’t figure out how to say it so I could understand it. Frustration would set in

“Juice”

“What do you want Kayla.”

“Juice”

“Mommy doesn’t understand.”

“Juice” screaming, hitting and kicking.

“Show mommy”

She would point but I was still unsure of what she wanted. Finally, I would just start to ask if she wanted this or if she wanted that. We would finally get to juice, and I would pull the sip cup down and she would be happy at that moment. Frustration diverted.

When Kayla was able to complete full sentence, I remember one day picking Kayla up from daycare. As I secured her in the car seat.

“Mommy can we get pizza.”

“No Kayla not tonight”

“Why?”

“We had pizza last night.”

“I am tired tonight, and we are going home and will get something at home.”

“I don’t want to go home. Why can’t we have pizza?”

And I said it – “Because I said so.”

I can’t believe I said it. After promising myself and Kayla that I wouldn’t say it, but I said it. It was natural reaction.

Kayla’s reaction followed my childhood reaction.

“That is not an answer mommy.”

I just kept driving without a response. I didn’t have a good response and I didn’t want to repeat my answer. Kayla gave up and realized it was a losing battle. Same reaction I had some many years ago. I get it now that I am a parent.